how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
