it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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