he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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