So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize