Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
