Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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