I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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