Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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