I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
and she was petting her beer can
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
