She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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