shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Please don't give away my fajitas
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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