Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
