During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
a search helicopter?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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