i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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