People in love make me want to vomit
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
