i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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