Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize