god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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