he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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