he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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