So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
false alarm, still single
Randomize
