God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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