It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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