Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
A+ Viking dick
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