I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
