You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
