susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
