Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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