Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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