she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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