Sober January is a disaster.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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