the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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