he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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