im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
