I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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