Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
