And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
