i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize