So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
