She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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