he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
