I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
