I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
