You're so nebulous sometimes
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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