I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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