Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
