btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
