he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize