where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
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