My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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