yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Panties = found
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
