If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
