It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
