..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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