girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
