dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
